slemslempike | Anonymous comments.

Anonymous comments.

Hello. It is quite early, isn't it? Maybe not for you. It is for me though, I don't like to interfere too much with these happenings of the morning. The gasman cometh, though, to make sure we are not in imminent danger of dying in an exciting gasball fire explosion. And I am here to make sure he has everything he needs. That probably entails offering to make him tea, but I'm not sure we have milk. Oh! Jen's milk arrives today, and I need to bring it in. Then at half past nine I must ring the doctor because my pills run out on Sunday night and this is not at all a good time for me to come off them.

Last night I had pie in which was contained wild boar sausages, black pudding, apple and sage. It was quite nice. I also forgot to defrost food so I can't take the mince thing to university to eat. It wasn't a very nice mince thing anyway, but food is not very easy. I have to go the minute I can, and then work all day. Last night I didn't sleep very well at all, not least because I realised that this time next week I'm supposed to be submitting.

Would you like to leave me some anonymous comments? Of course you would, it would be your pleasure to contribute some small source of pleasure into my long day of staring at a horrible draft and checking my email too often. You could, for example, leave me a comment instead of putting it on twitter. I am very resentful of twitter.

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Hello! I have been awake since 5.30 because my sleep patterns are BEYOND FUCKED. I am now going to go to the local high street and buy supplies for making 'international society for the protection of dragons/george is a meanie-poo' t-shirts.

I had a dream last night which involved a lot of choral voices singing 'Nick Clegg' to the tune of the Pet Shop Boys' Go West. Do you think I am a Prophet of God, and if so what should I do about it?

What the f is with all these people asking people to tell them how they vote? What the f business is it of theirs, the smug twats assuming that it somehow reflects on them what other people do, and that it's their business. What happened to secret ballots?

I think you should announce your prediction more widely, then take steps to make it happen (eg hire choir, secure music rights) and then MAKE THEM BELIEVE.

YOU JUST HATE ENGLAND. THIS IS WHY WE SHOULD HAVE A PROPER DAY OF PATRIOTISM.

POLITICAL CORRECTNESS GONE ETC

I haven't seen any on my flist. Or perhaps I have just ignored them. They sound weird though. Weird and ANNOYING.

I also hate Russia, Lithuania, Greece, Ethiopia, Palestine and Catalonia, of which he is also patron saint. Shhh, nobody tell the rabid patriots.

If I had my way today would be cancelled. Not because of it being St Groggy's Day, but because I could do with a day off. The day would still exist, it would just have CANCELLED stamped on it in big letters and everyone would do happy things and selfish things just for themselves and it would be good.

I fear if today were cancelled I would take a day off too, and I mustn't. Can you cancel today just for yourself anyway?

It's a meme. People love memes. I have no objection because there's no obligation to answer it, but it gives pretty graph things. It amuses me. (But no, you won't find it in my LJ.)

I think possibly my boss might object...

Nick Clegg! Wants your every vote
Nick Clegg! Hasn't got a moat
Nick Clegg! Not the other Nick
(Nick Griffin - he's a total prick)
Nick Clegg! In his yellow tie
Nick Clegg! Can probably fly!
Nick Clegg! Not a man of faith

... OK, nothing rhymes with faith except 'Ringwraith' and I'm not sure what the Liberal Democrat policy on those is. But it's a start.

If I were to put a comment on twitter today it would say: Gahh, I have already worked a 40-hour week and it's only 9.30am on Friday. BOO.

(except that I wouldn't, because my work colleagues read my twitter account)

I would probably also say: woohoo! new curtain poles!

(I might not be totally successfully anonymous today...)

I didn't notice it was St Thing's day. All I'm doing this morning is sneezing. I would like a second breakfast. Nick Clegg bores me.

Very nice! I'm sure the Lib Dems are perfectly prepared to help ringwraiths integrate into society if needs be.

Curtain poles! The very thing I've been longing to hear.

I'm sorry about your 40 hour working week already. I have not worked nearly that.

I shall have my first breakfast once the gasman departeth. Nick Clegg rather bores me too.

It's 10:08 and I've already eaten a Twix. I love Friday.

Mmm, twix. I'm going to have toaster pancakes in a bit.

If Nick Clegg were handy with a lathe all your problems would be solved.

From Wall of Corn to Ness of Caith?

Today I do not want to be a grown-up. I want to stay in bed, wrapped up in duvet and drink tea and read rubbish books from the library that make no demands on me whatsoever. Actually, I would rather like to do that for the whole weekend but I can't. And I want to sulk and stamp my feet and loudly proclaim that it isn't fair, not one bit.

Pie is good.

Absent the tea, that sounds like a brilliant day. It's very cold in my house, even under a blanket.

Pie is ace.

I would like to do this too. Often. Being a grown up is so overrated.

Yes, it is all measly cold, except people keep going on about it being spring, but it is still cold and grey and windy. My house is cold and so I just want to be under the duvet too.

Pie makes many things better. But I hate restaurants that have apple pie on their pudding menu and when they bring it out, it is cold from the refrigerator and that is just mean and poo. Apple pie should be hot.

Today I am mostly being whiny.

It is massively overrated.

There should be a campaign for a national duvet day. I think it needs to happen at least once a month.

Believe what he say-eth?

All I'm doing it itching. Damn pollen

I think that you are beautiful and awesome.

I think that's Jesus, though it is quite easy to confuse the two.

I think

slemslempike is beautiful and awesome too.

I thought you'd be pleased.

This is brilliant! You have to find a choir and record it.

I got a pension statement at work today and it is 38 years, 293 days until I get my pension. I have done always no work today - I have here in body but not in spirit. I am going to the airport at lunchtime and not coming back until Tuesday!

i wish i could sit up straight without having to concentrate on it all the time or slumping as soon as i forget

richard iii was underrated. he achieved all that history while slumping and it wasn't until shakespeare that anyone even noticed

apropos recaptcha - to quills

to horse! to arms! to quills!

once more unto the quills, dear friends, once more

run for the quills!

Nick Clegg! He doesn't need to rhyme!

"It's very cold in my house, even under a blanket."

You should have a gas fire.

FUNNY.

(Actually, very funny!)

Would you hate me if I was going out with someone you hate? I wouldn't expect you to ever spend time with them or listen to me talk about them.

Excellent anonymous comment, well done. Your prize is that I shall blame my lack of work on my conclusion today on having been distracted by this interesting question. Expect a non-mention in my acknowledgements.

Ooh, I don't know! I wouldn't automatically hate, or even dislike, someone just because they happened to have the ABYSMAL taste to like someone I hated. I know quite a few people who seem to consort with quite DREADFUL people of their own free will, and it hasn't lessened my opinion of them. The fact that you realise that your duty is to not expect me to spend time with them or listen to stories about how wonderful they are is good. (Though that would deprive me of the pleasure of garnering more evidence to fuel my fires of hatred. They BREATHE AIR! Bastard.)

If you were someone I already knew and took up with one of my hatees then I don't think it would lessen my like of you. It might be rather awkward because I am not shy about telling people of my hatreds and so you would already know my unvarnished (actually, not so much unvarnished as previously varnished, now denuded entirely of varnish with some ugly grooves carved into the wood where I was too enthusiastic in my distressing) opinion of them. But as you already know that then it would be okay because at least I wouldn't have to choose between pretending I liked them and possibly losing a friend.

If you were someone I didn't know who was going out with someone I disliked, I hope I wouldn't just transfer the feelings onto you. I don't think I've ever had the experience before. I'm trying to think of people who know people I hate who I don't already know. I think I'm perhaps sometimes rather suspicious of them, and a little wary of becoming friends in case they think I'm a dick, or that I have a bizarre ulterior motive. But in general, no, I hate people because I hate THEM, and their EXISTENCE, and their BEHAVIOUR and their STUPID FACES, and I am generally able to come up with so many reasons to hate that are grounded in FACT, that I don't usually have to resort to "likes people I don't" for sources of rage.

Hmm. If this was a passing hypothetical then I've just made it all about me and that's probably not very helpful at all. But if this was specifically about me then I hope that clears it up. I am imagining that it is about me (all the best things are) and now I am intruiged! You could email or message me, if you wanted to. I want you to. I don't know who you are though. I can't think of anyone that this might conceivably be that I wouldn't want to hear from.

I don't even try sitting up straight. Frankly, if I have to wash up the standing up aches my back.

I like run for the quills!

I have an EasyBuild pension from a three month job I did once. It has £35 in it. I'm going to be ROLLING in money when I retire.

Are you spending all that time at the airport? I hope it's a nice airport.

Like all the best things in life, it was actually specifically about you. Although it's hypothetical in the sense that nothing has actually happened and I've mostly just been wavering over the whole issue.

(Not that I have ONLY been wavering because it's someone you hate, but you hating them is one of the myriad of reasons I've been wavering. And not that if you'd said "NO, OBVIOUSLY I WOULD HATE YOU" it would necessarily have stopped me! But it would have made me a bit sad.)

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Second attempt - this time cloaked in anonymity

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