slemslempike (
slemslempike) wrote2005-10-08 05:15 pm
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Hot Tub Rankings
Last night we watched Hot Tub Ranking, or whatever the vile Channel 5 show is called. It was absolutely vile, and the worse because you find yourself getting into their mindset, and saying "oh, but her boobs are much nicer than the others'". Five women take part in the show, and there are four rounds during which they must rank themselves 1 to 5 according to face, breasts, bum and overall. While they do this, there are three men sitting behind a two-way mirror, who also rank them. For every ranking that matches, the women win £500.
On the episode we watched, one of the women was black. She was pretty much systematically excluded from the decision making of the other women (which was mostly "oh, I think I'm maybe two or three" and then the others say "oh no, I think you're one" and they simper it out amongst themselves, because women aren't allowed to think that they're the prettiest), and they invariably put her in fourth or fifth place in each category. They didn't allow her to be part of the discussion, just sent her to whatever spot they chose. She was the only person whose rankings agreed with the men's every time. It was really vile. And it is the women's rankings agreeing with the men's, rather than the other way round. When the women are being praised for "thinking like a man" or chastised, it's explicitly that the men's opinions count. "Oh, you should have had more faith in your breasts, the men placed you first", "you thought you were good enough for second place, but the men put your bum LAST".
At the end of the show, the tables are turned, except not. They're only ranked once, and there's only three of them, which isn't quite as devastating, and, of course, men aren't systematically and normatively ranked on their appearance every single day as women are. It is the most horrible and devaluing show I've watched in a long time.
Then we switched to a music video channel, which was offering to tell you if your partner was a cheat. Jekesta is 94% of a cheat. She doesn't care who knows. She has partners in every part of Lancaster. The text told me so. I, on the other hand, am practically a saint. I am so trustworthy as to be untrue. Then Jen pointed out that we had just paid 50p each to take part in a meme. Not even a good one. But still: she is unfaithful, and that is the truth.
On the episode we watched, one of the women was black. She was pretty much systematically excluded from the decision making of the other women (which was mostly "oh, I think I'm maybe two or three" and then the others say "oh no, I think you're one" and they simper it out amongst themselves, because women aren't allowed to think that they're the prettiest), and they invariably put her in fourth or fifth place in each category. They didn't allow her to be part of the discussion, just sent her to whatever spot they chose. She was the only person whose rankings agreed with the men's every time. It was really vile. And it is the women's rankings agreeing with the men's, rather than the other way round. When the women are being praised for "thinking like a man" or chastised, it's explicitly that the men's opinions count. "Oh, you should have had more faith in your breasts, the men placed you first", "you thought you were good enough for second place, but the men put your bum LAST".
At the end of the show, the tables are turned, except not. They're only ranked once, and there's only three of them, which isn't quite as devastating, and, of course, men aren't systematically and normatively ranked on their appearance every single day as women are. It is the most horrible and devaluing show I've watched in a long time.
Then we switched to a music video channel, which was offering to tell you if your partner was a cheat. Jekesta is 94% of a cheat. She doesn't care who knows. She has partners in every part of Lancaster. The text told me so. I, on the other hand, am practically a saint. I am so trustworthy as to be untrue. Then Jen pointed out that we had just paid 50p each to take part in a meme. Not even a good one. But still: she is unfaithful, and that is the truth.
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This is a joke - please tell me this is a satirical post on your part?? I mean we are in 2006 and not 1976?
I can't get Channel 5 (other than through a snowstorm), I'm still waiting for something to come along which makes me regret that fact.
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"It's new, it's misogynistic, it's Hot Tub Ranking!" *shudder*
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But yay for the memery, even if you had to pay. OMG your mentioning of Jen just made me realise that snooker has been on my telly and I am not watching it. I am SO BAD. I DO NOT DESERVE DR HOUSE EITHER.
I go watch snooker now. eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
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I don't think my opinion of humanity could sink any lower...
Personally my ranking for anyone who would even consider appearing on a show like that is roughly minus infinity.
There are times when I consider my near-total lack of a visual aesthetic a disadvantage, but then I realise it prevents me from being like those people, and consider myself blessed instead...
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They should do a round where they grade on facial hair. That's a show.
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I'd win any round based on facial hair :)
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wankingRanking. I hate the very idea of it. It isn't that I don't judge others by their apperance, most people do, but giving them marks out of five is just rude.no subject