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slemslempike) wrote2006-02-11 08:08 pm
slemslempike) wrote2006-02-11 08:08 pm
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Pirate Crew.
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tiniago, this is my fantasy pirate ship crew. I am, obviously the captain. I have chosen my crew for efficiency and fabulousness, so hopefully I will have very little work to do.
1st mate: Sally from Third Rock from the Sun. She would be the best pirate first mate ever. Very efficient, and ruthless, and violent. She would enjoy the weapons side of pirating.
2nd mate: Fraser from Due South. He has to be second mate because he works better in a subordinate role, at least outwardly. He would be excellent for the navigating, and solving clues to get us to the treasure.
3rd mate: Donna from West Wing. She would be ace. She could be in charge of all the administrative parts of running a pirate ship, and of writing up where we had been and what we had done. I feel that running a pirate ship properly probably involves a lot of administration. Also she can be tricksy when she wants to, and would do well do be away from Josh.
cook: Killick (Master and Commander) would be a good idea, but clearly this would never happen. So he has been kidnapped by us, perhaps, and we are pretending that we are not pirates at all. He warms slightly to us because we take better care of our clothes.
cook: Reese from Malcolm in the Middle. An excellent cook, and he would also be handy in a fight if we let him out of the kitchen. Very ingenious.
Crew Members
1 Hanson. (JUMP!) He might be quite a rubbishy pirate, actually, a little too prone to complaining about how things were going, but he would like not having to pay taxes. And he would very much enjoy the dressing up parts of being a pirate.
2 Penhall. (JUMP!) He would be even worse, but he has to follow Hanson. Possibly Hanson ran away to sea without Penhall, but then Penhall followed him because they need to be together and look after each other. Perhaps he tortured Booker to tell him where Hanson was. And then killed him, thus proving his piratical worth.
3 Lucy Diamond from DEBS. Because the skill and the wonder and the helping people to understand their gayness. This is very important on a pirate ship.
4 Julian Clary. If we came across a bunch of people who were so physically tough that we thought our usual brutal methods wouldn't work on them, he would be brought in to make cutting remarks that so unnerved them that they are reduced to quivering jelly. About which Julian would make a decidedly single entendre.
5 Lawrie Marlow (Antonia Forest books)- I thought Nicola at first, but she is against pirates. So then I thought Lawrie has no scruples. Also, she would have seen loads of pirate films, so while Lawrie S Marlow might be a bit scared, Sophia Lawrence as Errol Flynn would be marvellously swashbuckling, and much better at the bravado and swaggering than Nicola. Bet she's good at climbing the rigging too, although she would obviously avoid this as much as possible. And she can't load the cannons because they bang at her, and everyone lets her get away with it.
6 Kim Kelly from Freaks and Geeks. I think she would get on very well with Sally, and confront her authority a lot while secretly trying to be a litle more like her.
7 Sarah from Press Gang. She is used to being bossed around by very scary people (ie Lynda) and would actually be so thrilled to be in a less volatile environment that she would shine like the star she is. We would let her use whatever kind of tippex she liked. She could work with Donna and help to type things up and write stories. She would be able to write a newsletter for amongst ourselves, and possibly to go out among the pirating world.
8 Margaret from Sense and Sensibility. I'm mostly thinking of the Emma Thompson adaptation. But she would be ace, and could help Fraser with the navigating. She would be used to piratical maps, and sword-fighting. She writes letters to Edward telling him about the adventures, but mostly out of politeness, as she thinks he is utterly wet for letting marriage to Eleanor stop him from coming to sea.
9 The main character from Stick It. I have only seen the trailer, and there is no release date listed for the UK yet (WOE), but she would be ace. She would break the law. OF GRAVITY. And that could lead to other laws as well.
10 Margot Maynard (Chalet School). We could harness her devil and get her violent tendencies under control, by which I mean bubbling just under the surface at all times.
Cabin boy: Phoebe from The Exiles. She would be very disconcerting, and if there was a mutiny, she would be the instigator. But in the meantime she would be good at finding things out, and cope well with a hardened life.
tiniago, this is my fantasy pirate ship crew. I am, obviously the captain. I have chosen my crew for efficiency and fabulousness, so hopefully I will have very little work to do.1st mate: Sally from Third Rock from the Sun. She would be the best pirate first mate ever. Very efficient, and ruthless, and violent. She would enjoy the weapons side of pirating.
2nd mate: Fraser from Due South. He has to be second mate because he works better in a subordinate role, at least outwardly. He would be excellent for the navigating, and solving clues to get us to the treasure.
3rd mate: Donna from West Wing. She would be ace. She could be in charge of all the administrative parts of running a pirate ship, and of writing up where we had been and what we had done. I feel that running a pirate ship properly probably involves a lot of administration. Also she can be tricksy when she wants to, and would do well do be away from Josh.
cook: Killick (Master and Commander) would be a good idea, but clearly this would never happen. So he has been kidnapped by us, perhaps, and we are pretending that we are not pirates at all. He warms slightly to us because we take better care of our clothes.
cook: Reese from Malcolm in the Middle. An excellent cook, and he would also be handy in a fight if we let him out of the kitchen. Very ingenious.
Crew Members
1 Hanson. (JUMP!) He might be quite a rubbishy pirate, actually, a little too prone to complaining about how things were going, but he would like not having to pay taxes. And he would very much enjoy the dressing up parts of being a pirate.
2 Penhall. (JUMP!) He would be even worse, but he has to follow Hanson. Possibly Hanson ran away to sea without Penhall, but then Penhall followed him because they need to be together and look after each other. Perhaps he tortured Booker to tell him where Hanson was. And then killed him, thus proving his piratical worth.
3 Lucy Diamond from DEBS. Because the skill and the wonder and the helping people to understand their gayness. This is very important on a pirate ship.
4 Julian Clary. If we came across a bunch of people who were so physically tough that we thought our usual brutal methods wouldn't work on them, he would be brought in to make cutting remarks that so unnerved them that they are reduced to quivering jelly. About which Julian would make a decidedly single entendre.
5 Lawrie Marlow (Antonia Forest books)- I thought Nicola at first, but she is against pirates. So then I thought Lawrie has no scruples. Also, she would have seen loads of pirate films, so while Lawrie S Marlow might be a bit scared, Sophia Lawrence as Errol Flynn would be marvellously swashbuckling, and much better at the bravado and swaggering than Nicola. Bet she's good at climbing the rigging too, although she would obviously avoid this as much as possible. And she can't load the cannons because they bang at her, and everyone lets her get away with it.
6 Kim Kelly from Freaks and Geeks. I think she would get on very well with Sally, and confront her authority a lot while secretly trying to be a litle more like her.
7 Sarah from Press Gang. She is used to being bossed around by very scary people (ie Lynda) and would actually be so thrilled to be in a less volatile environment that she would shine like the star she is. We would let her use whatever kind of tippex she liked. She could work with Donna and help to type things up and write stories. She would be able to write a newsletter for amongst ourselves, and possibly to go out among the pirating world.
8 Margaret from Sense and Sensibility. I'm mostly thinking of the Emma Thompson adaptation. But she would be ace, and could help Fraser with the navigating. She would be used to piratical maps, and sword-fighting. She writes letters to Edward telling him about the adventures, but mostly out of politeness, as she thinks he is utterly wet for letting marriage to Eleanor stop him from coming to sea.
9 The main character from Stick It. I have only seen the trailer, and there is no release date listed for the UK yet (WOE), but she would be ace. She would break the law. OF GRAVITY. And that could lead to other laws as well.
10 Margot Maynard (Chalet School). We could harness her devil and get her violent tendencies under control, by which I mean bubbling just under the surface at all times.
Cabin boy: Phoebe from The Exiles. She would be very disconcerting, and if there was a mutiny, she would be the instigator. But in the meantime she would be good at finding things out, and cope well with a hardened life.
no subject
I love Naomi best too. She would be a superb pirate. On the subject of random children-pirate connections, have you read High Wind in Jamaica?
Have you seen Ginger Snaps? It would, of course, be very wrong to write a crossover in which Ruth and Ginger and Brigitte and Naomi pair off for a summer of sexual awakening in America. Very wrong.
no subject
They don't have the same humour as The Exiles books, but I did grow deeply attached to the characters, especially Eve, the mother.
Ginger Snaps rocks.