Surveys, weeing

[slemslempike]

I just took a survey that asked me whether I was married/co-habiting, divorced/separated, or PRE-MARRIAGE. For fuck's sake.

I also got pissed off (this is a HILARIOUS pun that won't become apparent until a later paragraph) with a question I had to answer this morning about whether or not I had used a condom the last time I had sex. There was not a box for "there really wasn't anywhere to put it", so I ticked no and then pointed out to the person that the question was distinctly lacking. And now I think I should have left it blank, because I suspect that it's going to get used to say "omg these stupid women don't even use contraception". Anyway.

These questions were on a form to get tested for Chlamydia. I went because I was attracted by the word "free", by the fact that it was the only non-sporting activity in the graduate email, and really it's better to know. Also I am a bit of a hypochondriac, and sometimes think that I have Munchausen's syndrome. I had an AIDS test a few years ago because it was free. It was a scraper thing in your cheek.

It was only when I got to the graduate common room today that I realised that I didn't actually know how they tested for chlamydia, but it turned out to be urine, and may I just say that I absolutely aced the weeing into the tube thing. She said half full, and half full it duly was. They are going to send me a letter to tell me if I have it. I also got a badge with an elephant and "don't forget" on it, but it doesn't really say what it is that you shouldn't forget. I don't think that it's particularly effective advertising.

Ebay update - red boots now at £16.51 with 11 watchers. Don't just watch, join in! Bid higher and higher!

Comments

[sam-t.livejournal.com]

'Pre-marriage', ugh. Was this a test with An Agenda, or just bad survey writers?

Clearly it's to remind you not to forget your elephant. You wouldn't be able to take it in with you, after all, and you might be thinking so hard about what the result of the test might be (or planning your future wedding) that you might forget, and leave it outside the door still waiting for you. And that would be sad, and clutter up the corridor something chronic.

[jinxremoving.livejournal.com]

I misread the bag (to be fair, you've typed 'bage') as 'bagel'. A bagel with an elephant on it! Wow.

Also, WTF heterosexist Victorians. Also also, mind you don't get filed under 'not sexually active', which is one of my favourite rage-inducers.

No seriously, 'pre-marriage'? I keep coming back to that because my mind is boggling over and over. I just ... no. Gah.

[girlofprey.livejournal.com]

It's a shame they didn't have Pre-Divorced as another option on that form.

[carmine-rose.livejournal.com]

About 8 years ago, I had a really bad UTI that wouldn't get better with antibiotics. So they tested me for Chlamydia - it came back negative, so they tested me again. Negative again... but they gave me antibiotics for that anyway because they were so sure I had it, and told me to consider that I'd had it for future reference, because sometimes the tests give a false-negative. So yeah, basically, I hope they're a more use now.

[whatho.livejournal.com]

I really want to join all your auctions purely to push the price up, which I think is a gallant thing people do sometimes on sitcoms and in James Herriot books, but I'm scared I'll end up buying things I can't afford instead.

If anyone tries that survey on me, I'll boldly attempt to eat it.

[metamorphosa.livejournal.com]

*Laughs* Well, so what if they do think that. That's what they get for assuming everybody fits in one of four boxes!

I get tested twice yearly for pretty much everything, but I've never had the inside of my cheek scraped. Is that a new thing, or is my surgery just stuck in the dark ages?

An elephant? Is that some kind of really unsuccessful attempt at innuendo with the trunk, do you think?

Did you get the boots? :)

[teenagelogic.livejournal.com]

I also got a badge with an elephant and "don't forget" on it, but it doesn't really say what it is that you shouldn't forget. I don't think that it's particularly effective advertising.

I giggled quite a lot at this. Possibly just because I love elephants? Who knows?