Surveys, weeing

[slemslempike]

I just took a survey that asked me whether I was married/co-habiting, divorced/separated, or PRE-MARRIAGE. For fuck's sake.

I also got pissed off (this is a HILARIOUS pun that won't become apparent until a later paragraph) with a question I had to answer this morning about whether or not I had used a condom the last time I had sex. There was not a box for "there really wasn't anywhere to put it", so I ticked no and then pointed out to the person that the question was distinctly lacking. And now I think I should have left it blank, because I suspect that it's going to get used to say "omg these stupid women don't even use contraception". Anyway.

These questions were on a form to get tested for Chlamydia. I went because I was attracted by the word "free", by the fact that it was the only non-sporting activity in the graduate email, and really it's better to know. Also I am a bit of a hypochondriac, and sometimes think that I have Munchausen's syndrome. I had an AIDS test a few years ago because it was free. It was a scraper thing in your cheek.

It was only when I got to the graduate common room today that I realised that I didn't actually know how they tested for chlamydia, but it turned out to be urine, and may I just say that I absolutely aced the weeing into the tube thing. She said half full, and half full it duly was. They are going to send me a letter to tell me if I have it. I also got a badge with an elephant and "don't forget" on it, but it doesn't really say what it is that you shouldn't forget. I don't think that it's particularly effective advertising.

Ebay update - red boots now at £16.51 with 11 watchers. Don't just watch, join in! Bid higher and higher!

Comments

[sam-t.livejournal.com]

'Pre-marriage', ugh. Was this a test with An Agenda, or just bad survey writers?

Clearly it's to remind you not to forget your elephant. You wouldn't be able to take it in with you, after all, and you might be thinking so hard about what the result of the test might be (or planning your future wedding) that you might forget, and leave it outside the door still waiting for you. And that would be sad, and clutter up the corridor something chronic.

[slemslempike.livejournal.com]

It was one of those market research things, so I think it was mostly bad survey writers. But ugh, yes.

That's very good! Maybe at first it works to remind me that I don't yet have an elephant, and should set about getting one, and then when that's achieved, I can use it to help me remember that I did that!

[jinxremoving.livejournal.com]

I misread the bag (to be fair, you've typed 'bage') as 'bagel'. A bagel with an elephant on it! Wow.

Also, WTF heterosexist Victorians. Also also, mind you don't get filed under 'not sexually active', which is one of my favourite rage-inducers.

No seriously, 'pre-marriage'? I keep coming back to that because my mind is boggling over and over. I just ... no. Gah.

[slemslempike.livejournal.com]

Ops - it was badge. I have fixed it now, and changed "scraper think" to "scraper thing".

THe form was quite odd - it didn't ask the right questions for what they wanted to know, and I've just remembered another rage-inducing thing, that their options were "working full time" "working part time" and "student/in school". HMMMMM.

I have no clue. I hope it's not a trend. They even used "co-habiting", so they admit that not everyone in a living-together relationship is married, but somehow if you're not living with a romantic partner, it's pre-marriage. ARGH.

[nineveh-uk.livejournal.com]

but somehow if you're not living with a romantic partner, it's pre-marriage
Like those US health proposals to treat all women as 'pre-pregnant'?

[slemslempike.livejournal.com]

Well, one would HOPE that you wouldn't have one without the other!! Marriage is for pregnancy, and pregnancy is only for the married.

[metamorphosa.livejournal.com]

I believe that the whole "pre-marriage" thing is there to separate out from 'co-habiting' those whose cultural and religious beliefs do not permit them to co-habit with their fiance. [1] Presumably as far as their faith goes, they're not supposed to be sexually active either, so quite why such people filling out that form would *want* this identified on there is beyond me. I have just re-typed a sentence that began "I suspect that...." several times, and decided each of the 'reasons' for my suspicions was too inflammatory, despite me not intending them to be. Feel free to fill in the blanks with your own..

ETA: [1]That, and the government's desperate attempt to gather *any* kind of statistics to show our 'traditional family values' are still breathing.

[slemslempike.livejournal.com]

Ah no - the post isn't very clear. The "pre-marriage" was on an online market research survey. The ONLY option they had for people who were not living with a romantic partner was "pre-marriage" - so it wasn't about separating anyone out at all. It's not a government thing, so it's not about those kind of statistics.

[girlofprey.livejournal.com]

It's a shame they didn't have Pre-Divorced as another option on that form.

[slemslempike.livejournal.com]

Hee! Aren't we all, really, pre-divorced?

[girlofprey.livejournal.com]

I know I'm only waiting for that magical day.

[metamorphosa.livejournal.com]

Ah-hahahahaha! That made my day! (Mine is due next month!)

[carmine-rose.livejournal.com]

About 8 years ago, I had a really bad UTI that wouldn't get better with antibiotics. So they tested me for Chlamydia - it came back negative, so they tested me again. Negative again... but they gave me antibiotics for that anyway because they were so sure I had it, and told me to consider that I'd had it for future reference, because sometimes the tests give a false-negative. So yeah, basically, I hope they're a more use now.

[slemslempike.livejournal.com]

Oof. I don't have any symptoms, so I'm hoping that it's clear (but have been reading so much about the SILENT PROBLEM that I'm perfectly willing to believe it's been incubating for many years).

[whatho.livejournal.com]

I really want to join all your auctions purely to push the price up, which I think is a gallant thing people do sometimes on sitcoms and in James Herriot books, but I'm scared I'll end up buying things I can't afford instead.

If anyone tries that survey on me, I'll boldly attempt to eat it.

[slemslempike.livejournal.com]

It was online, so not so easy to masticate. But I entirely applaud the sentiment.

I think it might be cheating and sort of punishable by expulsion from ebay! But thank you for the thought.

[metamorphosa.livejournal.com]

*Laughs* Well, so what if they do think that. That's what they get for assuming everybody fits in one of four boxes!

I get tested twice yearly for pretty much everything, but I've never had the inside of my cheek scraped. Is that a new thing, or is my surgery just stuck in the dark ages?

An elephant? Is that some kind of really unsuccessful attempt at innuendo with the trunk, do you think?

Did you get the boots? :)

[slemslempike.livejournal.com]

I don't mind if anyone thinks I'm *individually* stupid - but I do mind about the heteronormative skewing of statistics to 'prove' sexist assumptions about women in general.

I don't know - my AIDS test was about eight years ago now, so possibly they have different ways of doing it, or if they're taking blood for something else anyway it's easier to do it.

I'm selling the boots! I am not supposed to be buying any boots for myself because I have too many - I have nowhere to keep them and I don't wear them very often at the moment because I'm back in jeans and t shirts for teaching.

[teenagelogic.livejournal.com]

I also got a badge with an elephant and "don't forget" on it, but it doesn't really say what it is that you shouldn't forget. I don't think that it's particularly effective advertising.

I giggled quite a lot at this. Possibly just because I love elephants? Who knows?

[slemslempike.livejournal.com]

Elephants are lovely! I gave my mum a whole book of elephant pictures for her birthday.

[teenagelogic.livejournal.com]

I inherited my elephant-love from my granddad, who has about 50 elephants, whether they be candles, resin, wood, glass... There's just nothing bad about elephants, really. And most things with big ears I automatically love out of a sense of solidarity.