often seen in the street without a hat

This is from last week, so apologies if you've already seen it, but this is the Hansard report of the Lords' same-sex marriage debate where several noble friends create RPF about George Clooney:

As the law stands, if I was married to George Clooney and he was to have a sexual affair with, say, the noble Baroness, Lady Thornton, that would be adultery. If I was married to George Clooney and Mr Clooney had sexual relations with the noble Lord, Lord Alli, that would not be adultery because he would not be able to do the sexual act which is very specifically defined in law. Should I wish to divorce Mr Clooney on those grounds, I would do so on the grounds of unreasonable behaviour. In future, if the noble Lord, Lord Alli, was to marry Mr Clooney, and Mr Clooney was to have an affair with me—and who would blame him in those circumstances?—that would be adultery and the noble Lord, Lord Alli, should he choose to, would be able to divorce Mr Clooney on those grounds. If the noble Lord, Lord Alli, were married to Mr Clooney and Mr Clooney had an affair with, say, my noble friend Lord Black of Brentwood—

Lord Black of Brentwood: Hear, hear!

Baroness Stowell of Beeston: That would not be adultery, but the noble Lord, Lord Alli, would be able to divorce Mr Clooney, should he choose to, on the grounds of unreasonable behaviour.

I am particularly fond of "should he choose to", indicating that it would take an awful lot of straws before you got to the final one that would rend such a partnership asunder.

I am reading The Maker's Mask by Ankaret Wells (and really enjoying it - highly recommended especially as it's only £3ish for the Kindle edition). Ligeia has murmured "I will lift up my eyes to the Spires, from whence comes my help". Ha! Here's hoping that Tzenni soon discovers a perfectly normal echo and takes to singing into it. (Though she seems more likely to run an experiment about it.)

Really, there was a time when this ad wasn't too creepy to use?

ETA2: Sorry! I've just realised some people might need to know that the link below contains COCK. And those who don't need to might well like to.

I like the series of "men at their most masculine" pictures, and this makes me laugh and laugh and laugh. "Because when you study Freud you don't let him study you."

ETA: Ooh! And I've gone up to 386th on prolific.

The British Optical Association Museum calls itself a musEYEum! I am very pleased indeed. Furthermore, they are "open to the public most week days and we are delighted that you would like to come and see us". Bless.

I have also decided that anything with an admission fee of over £5 is optional. Up to that amount I am happy to pay even if I don't personally have an interest, in order to support this our nation's priceless heritage etc. I am not, however, paying FIFTEEN POUNDS to see The British Music Experience, even if it does have Humph's VE day trumpet.

Tidying derailed by urgent need to make an Access database of museums in London with address, opening hours and admission price. Because if I don't do it now I won't know which to prioritise while I have weekdays free.

From Jezebel (where else?):



My usual "sophisticated" sense of humour has clearly abandoned me in my weakened state. Ham! Shaped like a penis!

That Mitchell and Webb Look is on again tonight, which I am looking forward to. Last week I unexpectedly laughed myself silly at the Gary Rhodes sketch.

Earlier today we watched Make It or Break It, the new gymnastics TV drama from the US, and it was GREAT. There was gymnastics, obviously, with brilliant cuts between the faces and the actual bodies during their moves. There was a bitchy gymnast who'll happily fuck over her friends to get to the top, a perfect very-in-control gymnast whose only ambitions are to do gymnastics, and a more friendly gymnast who was having an ILLICIT RELATIONSHIP WITH A BOY. There is also a new gymnast, who is a threat, and her leotards are STORE-BOUGHT. The other gymnasts' leotards are not store-bought. They come through sponsorship deals, and they are SO VERY GLITTERY. Dr Malachi from ER was the coach. There were dirty deeds and the wonderful triumph of the will over the weakness of the flesh. I cannot WAIT for the rest of the series. (Before its cancellation, probably.) ALSO why did no-one tell me they were making a TV series of 10 Things I Hate About You? I love that film.


Is there some sort of add-on that will automatically uncollapse the threads on IMDB?

More amusing but in no way justifiable annotations in library books:

( Bitter, meet smug. )

Also, I bought this badge in Stockholm:



Yay! I don't really know what it actually means (my friend thought that it was something about a grand slam), but to me it just means that I have a klubb. A club of FIRE and GRAPES, and a WEIRD BUTTON THING.

ARGH. I have only one week before my work presentation, and so I have therefore been amusing myself on one of the few websites that isn't blocked, The Guardian's Notes and Queries section.

( My favourite questions and responses. )


I'm planning to go and see Angus, Thongs and Perfect Snogging tonight. The trailers leave me hopeful that my love of the books will not be undermined.

From the pen of Dr Alexander Gunn, author of The Privileged Adolescent: An outline of the physical and mental problems of the student society, published by the Medical and Technical Publishing Co, in 1970.

I have so far only read the chapter on "Sex on the campus", because that is naturally what interested me in the first place. Here, we learn that, on university campuses:

"promiscuity (OED = 'indiscriminate mixture') as by definition girls who cohabit with more than one partner in, say, any one year, is agin less than 1 per cent. Indeed, promiscuity in the sense of the girl who 'sleeps around' is seen by university physicians as a sign and symptom of psychological disturbance - the girl is invariably, quite severely emotionally disturbed and her sexual behaviour is but one aspect of her illness." (35)

Then there is "a detailed survey carried out by the author" in which "an attempt was made to definte the social and psychological attitudes of those female students who were...regular users of the 'pill'." (35-36) I bet he carried that survey out. I bet it was very detailed indeed. Perhaps a phone survey, with most of the questions replaced by heavy breathing.

"With regard to domicile, it does not seem to make any significant difference as to whether the girl lives in lodgings, hostel or flat as to whether she uses an oral contraceptive or not." (37)

My god! They'll do it anywhere!

And, finally, I regret to inform you that "[there] is no satisfaction to be had from promiscuity beyond the spinal reflexes" (41) NONE WHATSOEVER. (Yes, I know what he means by spinal reflexes. But it amuses me to suppose that he doesn't. Also he says that these spinal reflexes are "rare" in young women.)


I wish this counted as work.

Last Friday I braved the train chaos and went to Preston to see nerdcakes and Juno. I was panicking because of the train CHAOS and ended up getting us to the cinema about an hour too early. We were going to go to Chiquito's so that I could have fried ice cream, but apparently everyone else had that idea too, so instead I dragged Sarah reluctantly to KFC because every time that awful advert about mum's night off has been on recently I have wanted their chicken, or more specifically the skin from their chicken. Now that I have had it I won't want it again for several years.

( Juno )

On Saturday I went down to Manchester, where I had the nicest roast beef I have ever eaten in my entire life, along with roast carrots and beetroot and the best potato wedges of recent memory, and went to reclaim the night with irrtum. I was getting anxious about it, because as I have said I generally don't enjoy the marches, but this was really good, actually. They kept the chants going well enough that I didn't worry about it, and was able to join in as well. I didn't notice any negative reactions, and plenty of people clapping us as we went by. It had two sections - women-only march (including transwomen) at the front, and mixed supporters bringing up the rear. I think it was a really good way of doing it, and it worked well - about 400 people, I think they said on the f-word (where I also appear in severe profile in some pictures they posted). It was also shorter than London, and not as slow-moving, which is always a plus for lazy me. We marched past the very Spar where I went for help a few years ago after I'd been attacked, which also made the whole thing more meaningful for me.

We skipped the rally though, and went to see Margot at the Wedding instead. Then we went back to Rachel's and ate french fancies for supper and then for breakfast. In the afternoon we went to see My Blueberry Nights. ( Films. )

On Tuesday I went to a Fair Trade comedy thing with nerdcakes, who is great to go to comedy things with because she will cheer for things she likes even if no-one else does. I am always cowardly and wait to see if other people are making noise before venturing any noise of even moderate committal. This time she cheered for both Liverpool and Fair Trade fortnight, which are actually good things to cheer for.

( Just Fair Laughs )

Today I went to see Banter being recorded, which I really enjoyed. The series starts in April, and I'm not sure where this comes in.

( Banter recording )

It ended at 19.20, which meant that, despite an uncomfortably full bladder, I had to set off at top speed to Euston to try and catch the Last Train. I was successful, and in fact had to loiter while thinking of deserts, crackers and the like until they put up the platform.

I was looking at the website for the British Humanist Association (trying to work out what humanism is, after thinking about a post thatlsugaralmond made), and found this part of their quiz hilarious:

5 When I look at a beautiful view I think that …
A) it must have been designed by God.
B) it would be a nice place for a motorway.
C) this is what life is all about - I feel good.
D) we ought to do everything possible to protect this for future generations.

My general reaction to beautiful views is "oh, that's nice", so I'm probably up there with the unsustainable-transport-planners in many people's eyes. I don't tend to be moved by scenery, although hedgerows do bring out an occasional patriotic murmur. I'm thinking that the BHA is not the place for me, based on that.

Today I finshed The Archaeology of Knowledge. The main outcome of this is that I can now say that I've read The Archaeology of Knowledge, as long as it's in a situation where there will be absolutely NO follow-up questions. Tomorrow will be spent going through the spark notes guide to work out what it actually means. I made an icon from the phdcomic feed, because it seems that it's going to become useful very soon , and I thought that if I needed to make a post and illustrate it with an icon of despair, it would only be exacerbated if I had to make the icon as well. It was mostly in Photoshop, but I couldn't work out how to do a border, so I saved it and then did the border in Paint.

This time next month I'll be in Africa.