George Clooney, fantasy of the peers

[slemslempike]

This is from last week, so apologies if you've already seen it, but this is the Hansard report of the Lords' same-sex marriage debate where several noble friends create RPF about George Clooney:

As the law stands, if I was married to George Clooney and he was to have a sexual affair with, say, the noble Baroness, Lady Thornton, that would be adultery. If I was married to George Clooney and Mr Clooney had sexual relations with the noble Lord, Lord Alli, that would not be adultery because he would not be able to do the sexual act which is very specifically defined in law. Should I wish to divorce Mr Clooney on those grounds, I would do so on the grounds of unreasonable behaviour. In future, if the noble Lord, Lord Alli, was to marry Mr Clooney, and Mr Clooney was to have an affair with me—and who would blame him in those circumstances?—that would be adultery and the noble Lord, Lord Alli, should he choose to, would be able to divorce Mr Clooney on those grounds. If the noble Lord, Lord Alli, were married to Mr Clooney and Mr Clooney had an affair with, say, my noble friend Lord Black of Brentwood—

Lord Black of Brentwood: Hear, hear!

Baroness Stowell of Beeston: That would not be adultery, but the noble Lord, Lord Alli, would be able to divorce Mr Clooney, should he choose to, on the grounds of unreasonable behaviour.

I am particularly fond of "should he choose to", indicating that it would take an awful lot of straws before you got to the final one that would rend such a partnership asunder.

Comments

[chiasmata]

That is a thing of beauty.

[slemslempike.livejournal.com]

Well, I see from the internet that Mr C has recently ended a relationship!

[widgetfox.livejournal.com]

I know that if I were a proper and right-thinking person, I would want the HoL replaced by a democratically elected upper chamber, and I feel bad that I can't. I feel this post helps my cause.

[slemslempike.livejournal.com]

It really does. Of course, there's webofevil's posts to provide evidence for the prosecution!

[widgetfox.livejournal.com]

It isn't that I approve of them. It's that I disapprove of them less than the HoC.

[slemslempike.livejournal.com]

Ah, that is a crucial difference.

[morganmuffle]

Wow, that really is a thing of beauty!

[slemslempike.livejournal.com]

I wonder what Lord Black's civil partner has to say about his "hear hear" intervention! Presumeably "hear hear" again, it's the only rational response.

[nineveh-uk.livejournal.com]

Surely an affair with George Clooney is neither adultery nor unreasonable behaviour, but natural human instinct?

[sollersuk.livejournal.com]

I confess that I have difficulty in thinking of "an affair with George Clooney" and "unreasonable behaviour" in the same breath (still reeling from the idea that being smitten with him could class as a "guilty pleasure")

[slemslempike.livejournal.com]

Well, quite! I imagine that it would be significantly more common to feel guilty about *not* having a crush on George Clooney.

[katlinel.livejournal.com]

I do, indeed. Well, not so much guilty as baffled as to why I don't get this thing that is apparently universal.

[nineveh-uk.livejournal.com]

It's practically a diagnostic question: if you find George Clooney a guilty pleasure then you de facto belong to a weird religious sect.

[slemslempike.livejournal.com]

I think that the new marriage vows should be updated to include this. "Forsaking all others, except, of course, George Clooney"...

[nineveh-uk.livejournal.com]

Surely it is universal enough to remain unspoken?

[spiralsheep.livejournal.com]

A perfectly constructed logical argument, with full exposition, all wrapped up in an entertaining example: truly a thing of beauty. My morning has been thoroughly enhanced.

[slemslempike.livejournal.com]

Glad to have passed it along!

[starfishchick]

That's fabulous. I'm so glad you shared it!

(Hear hear!)

I wonder how George Clooney feels about being used as an example? (I hope he finds it hilarious.)

[slemslempike.livejournal.com]

I imagine he's very used to being the go-to sexpot by now!

[sabethea.livejournal.com]

This is hilarious and splendid! I love the fact that it's necessary to go through EVERY POSSIBILITY of sex with Mr Clooney (well, except threesomes - maybe they got onto that bit later) :)

[slemslempike.livejournal.com]

Ooh, if the Baroness and Lord Black had a threesome with him, can that be adultery for one of them only?

[whatho.livejournal.com]

Lord Black of Brentwood: Hear, hear!

That made me laugh out loud in a house that contains other people.

[slemslempike.livejournal.com]

The joy of the Cloon is spreading!