often seen in the street without a hat

This morning when I was swimming I miscounted my backstrokes and smashed my head into the tiles. And the week is going to continue to be this horrible until about Thursday evening.

It would comfort me greatly to know that it is not in fact the case that everyone else is doing brilliantly, so if you would like to have a grump in the comments, that would be lovely. Sod positivity.

There's been a news story in England about a police officer being shot, though not fatally. This is obviously pretty nasty,

However, I am angry with the press coverage of the incident, and especially the reported comments of Lancashire's Acting Assistant Chief Constable, Jerry Graham. Yahoo! (I check my mail there, I don't rely on them for news, thankfully) quote him as saying:

"It troubles me greatly that at a close confrontation level, someone is shooting not only a police officer but a female one who was clearly identified."

What the fuck? Why on earth would he think that shooting a female police officer is worse than a male one? Is it interfering with their strategy of throwing women at (male, of course) criminals and hoping that their famous chivalrous instincts kick in and they put down their weapons to catch her? That's probably the only way in which the quote makes the vaguest sense.

The BBC don't quote this in their (shorter) story, but have headlined it "Armed robber blasts woman officer". In a follow-up story, "Arrest after woman officer shot", they end with this:

Pc Johnson is the latest female officer to have been shot while on duty.

In November 2005, Sharon Beshenivsky, 38, was shot dead as she tried to stop an armed robbery on a travel agency in Bradford.

Three months later, trainee officer Rachael Bown needed emergency surgery after being shot in the abdomen while attempting to apprehend a suspected burglar in Nottingham.

Women just aren't cut out for police work, poor lambs, as they aren't equipped with a penis with which to deflect bullets. Seriously, what on earth is the point of that? To imply that only women get shot? Or that when men get shot it doesn't really matter? Unfortunately, the answer is fairly obviously that the point is to reinforce the idea that real police officers are men.

There's an interview on Parent Hacks with the authors of The Dangerous Book For Boys. Parent Hacks asked them why they aimed it specifically at boys, what about girls? Their answer:

I suppose you could argue that heroic characters like Douglas Bader are inspiring for girls and boys, but that would be to come at it from the other side. It's not how we parcel them out - it's what works best that matters. The simple fact is that boys are inspired by stories of men being courageous and self-sacrificing much more than Jane Goodall and her chimps. That's part of accepting that boys are different to girls, really. No doubt some heroes are suitable for both, but in the main, boys take their values from stories about the men they could one day be. It's not just Edmund Hilary and Sherpa Tensing conquering Everest, it's the fact that they refused to say who reached the top first. That's what will get a boy, every time.

Yeah. Girls hate stirring human interest stories like that. Why the hell is he comparing Edmund Hilary to Jane Goodall? Could they not have both? Could they not write an interesting and exciting book for all children. Well, of course they couldn't. That would be madness. There is a sort of companion volume for girls, apparently, but it's not The Dangerous Book for Girls, it's The Daring Book for Girls. Arguably slight but important semantic difference there. We can't really strengthen the campaign to make women understand that they must avoid danger or risk attack/rape if we're encouraging them to seek danger. Also, daring is transgressive for girls. Knowing how to change a tire? Man's work! But they might let us play for a while.

If you absolutely squint then you could pretend that he's trying to say something about needing to promote homosociality, and cooperation instead of competitiveness. BUT HE ISN'T. It's the same stupid shit about the "innate" differences of boys and girls, and oh look, it just so happens that boys don't like girls, and girls will have to make do with whatever's left over. And in case we accidentally leave them something good, let's make it so that anything girly is automatically rubbish. Yeah!

Oh I hate everybody. When we went to see Sandi Toksvig and Bonnie Langford, Sandi Toksvig said that she was writing a book about great women in history to try and inspire girls, and the publishers insisted on bringing out an equivalent book for boys. Argh.

I have been hating people who, when you're in a perfectly normal conversation about generalities, suddenly smile condescendingly and say "you're talking to someone who...", where the ellipses represent something incredibly banal, and frequently almost entirely unrelated to the topic in hand. It leaves me thinking ...and? What on earth have you added to this conversation by saying that? I mean, my god, if I'd known I was talking to someone who has two legs, I'd have been more careful! Imagine how much of a fool I feel now that we've been talking about [completely unrelated subject], and I hadn't been told about the two leg thing! Think of the fool I have made of myself!

I have been being exasperated with toilets where they have very kindly provided a sanitary receptacle, but have chosen one that takes up the entire side of one cubicle, so that when you sit on the toilet seat, it cuts cruelly into your thigh, and taints what might have been going to be a pleasant evacuation.

I am also very taken with Robert Webb's sex arms. Specifically in Peep Show, when the lucky recipient has the camera on their head. I saw him do it live as well for the Mitchell and Webb thing in Preston, and very nice it was too.

I walked into a seminar the other day to hear a bearded man say very earnestly "of course, extremism of any kind is dangerous" and his neighbour nodding sagely. I eavesdropped shamelessly hoping to hear pearls of wisdom to steal in case I found myself in complex political discussion, but it transpired that they were actually talking about how cold the weather was that day, and how damaging the changing temperature was to women's skin.

What have you been doing? I missed you all trimmensely.