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Today I fitted locks to all the windows downstairs. I did one all by myself, and then half of all the others, before realising that it would be much better if I had another person to hold things steady. I cornered Alice when she got home, and we spent most of the evening with me sitting on the window ledges outside, contorting myself half upside-down to wield the drill in a confined space yet not get Alice's hand that was holding the tiny latch steady. There was one point at which I had one foot on the edge of the draining board and the other on the windowsill and was leaning out of the upper half of the kitchen window with a drill in one hand, a pencil in the other and a screw in my mouth, and hoped very hard that I wasn't going to slip, because it would be such an idiotic thing to have to explain to people.
We got there in the end, although there were slight problems in not being able to open one of the windows sufficiently, dead spiders having to be cleared before Alice could touch things, and me knocking over the chair I was bracing on with the drill still full abuzz. But we got all of them dome before it got dark, and I feel terribly grr and competent. Now if anyone wants to break in they'll have to smash a window instead of unhooking latches. Or, more likely, wait until a time when SOMEONE leaves the windows ajar and no-one downstairs, or better yet, when SOMEONE leaves the back door completely unlocked. Oh well, I tried.
In series two of Slings and Arrows, there is mention of a clarinet. I had been meaning to see if my skill, such as it has ever been, had entirely deserted me, and so I took out my incredibly dusty clarinet case and put mine together. I had to get out the basic-basic book to relearn some of the notes, but after that I was able to ascertain that my skill has indeed entirely deserted me. I sounded absolutely dreadful, but might go and get some new reeds and see if I can blame it all on my tools. At the moment I can't play the b above middle C more than once out of five attempts (the key always was a bit recalcitrant) which cuts down on my ability to render the music I have. I did find my "101 Number One Hits for Clarinet" book, so once I have remembered which keys do what, I can start to regale the daytime street people with such classics as "The Power of Love", "I think we're alone now" and "Bright Eyes". Oh yes.
We got there in the end, although there were slight problems in not being able to open one of the windows sufficiently, dead spiders having to be cleared before Alice could touch things, and me knocking over the chair I was bracing on with the drill still full abuzz. But we got all of them dome before it got dark, and I feel terribly grr and competent. Now if anyone wants to break in they'll have to smash a window instead of unhooking latches. Or, more likely, wait until a time when SOMEONE leaves the windows ajar and no-one downstairs, or better yet, when SOMEONE leaves the back door completely unlocked. Oh well, I tried.
In series two of Slings and Arrows, there is mention of a clarinet. I had been meaning to see if my skill, such as it has ever been, had entirely deserted me, and so I took out my incredibly dusty clarinet case and put mine together. I had to get out the basic-basic book to relearn some of the notes, but after that I was able to ascertain that my skill has indeed entirely deserted me. I sounded absolutely dreadful, but might go and get some new reeds and see if I can blame it all on my tools. At the moment I can't play the b above middle C more than once out of five attempts (the key always was a bit recalcitrant) which cuts down on my ability to render the music I have. I did find my "101 Number One Hits for Clarinet" book, so once I have remembered which keys do what, I can start to regale the daytime street people with such classics as "The Power of Love", "I think we're alone now" and "Bright Eyes". Oh yes.
