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PETER DELUISE IS AWESOME
Jan. 13th, 2012 11:23 amLast weekend I went to stay with Jen, and we watched all the Peter Deluise I could find. It was great. I love that he still acts. He's mostly a director now, but he clearly loves acting because he has all these little roles in things (and sometimes bigger roles in littler things), and sometimes he even gets to act in things he doesn't direct!
Children of the Night
Two girls go swimming in the flooded crypt of an old church, and in doing so inadvertently wake up a paedophile vampire. Then we go forward a little bit (I think?) and Peter Deluise is a very kind teacher who has a priest friend who has clearly never got over losing Peter Deluise's love. The priest keeps a vampire woman and her lungs-outside-the-body daughter (one of the swimming girls) in his attic. Peter Deluise goes to rescue the other girl from her vampire grandmother. They have to team up to fight the town, who have all turned into vampires, some of whom have sex in cocoons. The day is mostly saved by an old man in a van with a cross on the front. In the morning everything is magically okay again.
Sanctuary
We watched one and a half episodes of this before realising that imdb had LIED and he wasn't in those. Then we watched the one in which he does appear, as a somewhat dodgy purveyor of weird creatures in fridges after the cryochamber broke. He was beautiful, and helpful, as he sold an audio file that could be used to calm the escaped creature. He directed that.
Painkiller Jane
Painkiller Jane has a healing superpower. I think she uses it to solve crime, somehow? In the episode we watched, models were getting ready to go on a catwalk, then one of them collapsed on a catwalk, and the paramedics came. One of the paramedics was Peter Deluise! Again beautiful, and again presumeably helpful as he is in the medical profession, though we stopped watching after that as he wasn't going to be in it any more. Actually, I think the model might have died, but I bet that wasn't his fault. Her last moments were spent in his company, I'd like that. He directed this episode too.
Engaged to Kill
He didn't direct this! This is a film (based on a true story) where a woman is kidnapped for money, and then later after she is free she is stalked more and it's fairly obvious to everyone except those in the film that it's her daughter's boyfriend, who is the original kidnapper in disguise. Peter Deluise plays a boat-selling douche who takes advantage of the kidnapped family's new penury to hike up his cut of a boat. He wears a bright shirt, and later he gets hit on the head with a metal implement on a dock and ends up in a coma. THE FILM NEVER TELLS US IF HE RECOVERED. I bet he did though. Peter Deluise's wife is in this too, as a hypochondriac woman who is convinced to make a complaint about the kidnapped woman's doctoring skils.
Bloodsuckers
This is about vampires in space, and I thought it was pretty good, actually. We actually watched this because Michael Deluise (Deluise mi) was billed as one of the main stars, with his name on the poster and everything. Having seen the film, we have NO idea why his name got to be anywhere near the poster. He is lovely, of course (he's Jen's Deluise), but his role is very small. None of the four main people get to be on the poster. Peter Deluise has an uncredited cameo as Vondi the German Space Tourist, who leaves what seems to be a brothel called "Hard Eight" leading a man on a leash and saying "disappointing, ladies! not very hard at all". He is a funny man and does this VERY WELL.
Highlander
Peter Deluise is in the second episode of this, as a man called Clinch who is the hired bully of a woman who runs a casino, and breaks fingers and threatens to beat people up after they get fired for not cheating. He does this quite well at first, but then the Highlander comes and defeats him effortlessly, which is a bit embarrassing. But it's necessary for the narrative, it's not Peter Deluise's fault.
I now have an episode of Andromeda to watch, and once I have worked out whether the video player I got from my parents worked, I can work my way through his early oeuvre that is only available on tape.
( A minor success. )
I went to see The Iron Lady with![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
katlinel this week. We did not like it. ( Film spoilers. )
gair very lovelily sent me a HUGE box of teen fic, so I am reading my way through the Sweet Dreams series. They take me almost an exact 30 minutes to read, which is perfect for lunch breaks and bus rides. They are all exactly the same so far - girl feels she is somehow a bit rubbish, meets a boy, thinks he doesn't like her, falls in love with him, is sad that she's not good enough for him, then it turns out he totally likes her after all, they kiss, the end. It's very soothing. Though there's one called Kiss Me, Creep coming up, which might work slightly differently.
Children of the Night
Two girls go swimming in the flooded crypt of an old church, and in doing so inadvertently wake up a paedophile vampire. Then we go forward a little bit (I think?) and Peter Deluise is a very kind teacher who has a priest friend who has clearly never got over losing Peter Deluise's love. The priest keeps a vampire woman and her lungs-outside-the-body daughter (one of the swimming girls) in his attic. Peter Deluise goes to rescue the other girl from her vampire grandmother. They have to team up to fight the town, who have all turned into vampires, some of whom have sex in cocoons. The day is mostly saved by an old man in a van with a cross on the front. In the morning everything is magically okay again.
Sanctuary
We watched one and a half episodes of this before realising that imdb had LIED and he wasn't in those. Then we watched the one in which he does appear, as a somewhat dodgy purveyor of weird creatures in fridges after the cryochamber broke. He was beautiful, and helpful, as he sold an audio file that could be used to calm the escaped creature. He directed that.
Painkiller Jane
Painkiller Jane has a healing superpower. I think she uses it to solve crime, somehow? In the episode we watched, models were getting ready to go on a catwalk, then one of them collapsed on a catwalk, and the paramedics came. One of the paramedics was Peter Deluise! Again beautiful, and again presumeably helpful as he is in the medical profession, though we stopped watching after that as he wasn't going to be in it any more. Actually, I think the model might have died, but I bet that wasn't his fault. Her last moments were spent in his company, I'd like that. He directed this episode too.
Engaged to Kill
He didn't direct this! This is a film (based on a true story) where a woman is kidnapped for money, and then later after she is free she is stalked more and it's fairly obvious to everyone except those in the film that it's her daughter's boyfriend, who is the original kidnapper in disguise. Peter Deluise plays a boat-selling douche who takes advantage of the kidnapped family's new penury to hike up his cut of a boat. He wears a bright shirt, and later he gets hit on the head with a metal implement on a dock and ends up in a coma. THE FILM NEVER TELLS US IF HE RECOVERED. I bet he did though. Peter Deluise's wife is in this too, as a hypochondriac woman who is convinced to make a complaint about the kidnapped woman's doctoring skils.
Bloodsuckers
This is about vampires in space, and I thought it was pretty good, actually. We actually watched this because Michael Deluise (Deluise mi) was billed as one of the main stars, with his name on the poster and everything. Having seen the film, we have NO idea why his name got to be anywhere near the poster. He is lovely, of course (he's Jen's Deluise), but his role is very small. None of the four main people get to be on the poster. Peter Deluise has an uncredited cameo as Vondi the German Space Tourist, who leaves what seems to be a brothel called "Hard Eight" leading a man on a leash and saying "disappointing, ladies! not very hard at all". He is a funny man and does this VERY WELL.
Highlander
Peter Deluise is in the second episode of this, as a man called Clinch who is the hired bully of a woman who runs a casino, and breaks fingers and threatens to beat people up after they get fired for not cheating. He does this quite well at first, but then the Highlander comes and defeats him effortlessly, which is a bit embarrassing. But it's necessary for the narrative, it's not Peter Deluise's fault.
I now have an episode of Andromeda to watch, and once I have worked out whether the video player I got from my parents worked, I can work my way through his early oeuvre that is only available on tape.
( A minor success. )
I went to see The Iron Lady with
katlinel this week. We did not like it. ( Film spoilers. )gair very lovelily sent me a HUGE box of teen fic, so I am reading my way through the Sweet Dreams series. They take me almost an exact 30 minutes to read, which is perfect for lunch breaks and bus rides. They are all exactly the same so far - girl feels she is somehow a bit rubbish, meets a boy, thinks he doesn't like her, falls in love with him, is sad that she's not good enough for him, then it turns out he totally likes her after all, they kiss, the end. It's very soothing. Though there's one called Kiss Me, Creep coming up, which might work slightly differently.
