Twikosigan

[slemslempike]

The name Vorcullen was raised at afternoon tea wth yiskah and katlinel. Question: is there Twilight/Vorkosigan crossover fic and if not why not?

Comments

[ankaret.livejournal.com]

"Can we have a meeting somewhere that isn't festooned with revolting trophies?" said one of the Escobaran exchange students at the Barrayaran Service Academy, suppressing a nervous gulp. "It's not sanitary having those things in here collecting dust."

"I haven't consented to be in a room with human remains," said a Betan, sanctimoniously. "And... is that fireguard made of human skin?"

"And how did you treat it to sparkle like that?" said the Escobaran, eyes alight with scientific enquiry. "It dazzles me."

"Human?" grunted old Captain Lord Vorkyle. "Matter of opinion."

"It's a matter of galactic law," said the Betan, prissily. "Your planet's past treatment of the mutant community..."

"It's a matter of life and death, lad, if you find yourself bein' chased through the woods by one on a dark night, up on the Northern Continent near the pole," said the Captain, sucking contemplatively on his pipe. "They're strong and fast, and they bounce around in the top branches of the skellytums like buckshot dancin' on a stretched drumskin. And you don't want to look one in the eye, because they'll argue you out of your wits like a Betan lawyer. But a man's got three advantages against 'em. One, you can always find 'em by followin' the paper trail, because they can't stop 'emselves buying the latest trinkets. Two, if they think you're willin' to bargain with them, they'll come out and bargain, because they're soft like that. And three, a solid kick in the skull from a horse will put 'em right down. Then you can chop 'em up and set them on fire."

"You... skinned this one and then set it on fire?" said the Betan with a gulp.

"What, you think I was going to do it afterwards?" Captain Lord Vorkyle tapped his pipe. "Then I wouldn't have had my trophy, would I? And you soft bastards, you wouldn't have a reason to believe me and remember what I said, when you ever meet one of these sparkle-mutie scum. We're not as fast or smart as them, so we've got to be meaner. Works on the haut, works on this shower. Actually, I'm not sure they weren't some kind of Ceta secret weapon gone wrong. Might be a project for one of you to find out."

"Given your doctrine of the survival of the fittest, I'm surprised you didn't proclaim them Vor," sniffed the Escobaran.

Captain Lord Vorkyle drew himself up to his full bow-legged height. "You think we'd let them into the Council of Counts? Pack of nouveau-riche dilly-dallyers who never so much as finish dame school, let alone send a son to the Academy? People who'd sooner have a new flashy house than a place their ancestors lived and died in? People who buy their own spoons?" He scowled. "A Count can be a fool or a knave or a villain, but at least we all know he'll never be a bloody vampire."

[slemslempike.livejournal.com]

Hee! I love this.

[antisoppist.livejournal.com]

I was laughing already but I died at "people who buy their own spoons". This is fabulous. "Sparkle-mutie-scum" indeed.

[katlinel.livejournal.com]

Ask and ye shall receive. This is joyous from the sanctimonious Betan onwards.