(no subject)

[slemslempike]

One of the intranet news items is to win tickets to see Brave, where you have to leave a comment saying the bravest thing you've ever done. There are a number of bungy jumps, and a few sarcastic things about work, which is how it should be. HOWEVER, there are also several people in there describing times that their children underwent horrific medical interventions, which I am very sorry about, and agree that they were clearly very brave, but I think is cheating, frankly. I am very lazy and unmotivated at work. I was initially going to end that sentence "at the moment", but it is neither new nor fleeting, I'm afraid.

I had the stereotypical digestive problems wile on holiday, which continued for a while once I was back. Not too troubling, as there were no accompanying pains or problems with urgency. That's been replaced by a no-poo regime which annoys me far more. I just envision it all lurking in my guts, gradualy solidifying into unhelpful shapes and consistency. I think I will try the route of just eating more and more food until the rest simply has to come out the other end. Bound to work.

Comments

[whatho.livejournal.com]

Good luck with your interesting new digestive regime. I can't see that going wrong AT ALL. (We used to give my cat tuna in sunflower oil in these unfortunate situations. That seemed to help. I do understand you're not a cat.)

Also, yes, well done those brave people, but this is hardly sporting behaviour. Have you ever saved a child from a runaway horse? That's generally a good one.

[slemslempike.livejournal.com]

No, it is absolutely the way forward, and I can't think why more doctors don't advise this approach. I do not like tuna. What else can I douse in sunflower oil?

No, never. My life is one long string of non-bravery. Well, I have parachuted and bungee jumped, but as I didn't think they'd be very scary it wasn't brave to do them. Perhaps I need to start making my own opportunities. Do you know where one can borrow children and livestock?

[whatho.livejournal.com]

I'm sure if you inform your sister of your plan she'll be ALL TOO HAPPY to lend you your nephew. I don't know where you can get a horse though. Sarah might know.

You could just drink sunflower oil. Don't though. Maybe chips count. Oh, you can get those nice jars of things like pepper and sundried tomatoes in oil. Those are fun.

[slemslempike.livejournal.com]

Good plan! There must be loads of horses just lying around now they're not needed for filming. Unless Luck actually managed to finish them all off before it ended. Perhaps I could save a child from a runaway Dustin Hoffman?

[whatho.livejournal.com]

Yes! That's all Dustin Hoffman does these days ... pretends to be a horse. It's sad how it took him. A bit like when Mr Darling goes to live in the dog kennel after his kids disappeared.

[cakesy.livejournal.com]

LUCK ONLY KILLED THREE HORSES. That is HARDLY ANY.

Dustin Hoffman did do all that method acting, though. Maybe he spent some time being a horse so he'd understand Luck better.

[slemslempike.livejournal.com]

Front end or back end?

[cakesy.livejournal.com]

Obviously both ends, Clare. DUSTIN HOFFMAN IS A PRO.

[whatsagirlgotta.livejournal.com]

Umm your approach might lead to actual tears, perhaps some senna might be wise.

[slemslempike.livejournal.com]

No - might is right! My digestive tract will be so impressed by my display of force that it will go right into submission.

[whatsagirlgotta.livejournal.com]

I once attempted your approach. Never again. I started to resemble a Boa Constrictor, and ended up in hospital because of the stomach pain, then the weeping. My digestive system does hate me though.

[sheenaghpugh]

Surely "brave" implies it was something you had a choice about. Enduring children's medical interventions doesn't really come into that category - stoical maybe, but inevitable - what else were they going to do, freak out and be useless to the offspring?

[slemslempike.livejournal.com]

Lots of times parents have to make choices about their children's care, though, so if you follow that route you can be brave about it. And descriptively rather than prescriptively, people use brave all the time to mean managing to keep stoical in the face of extreme hardship.

[antisoppist.livejournal.com]

When my Swedish penfriend nearly had to be airlifted off the Harwich-Gothenburg ferry in the middle of the night due to suspected appendicitis until the "is there a doctor on board" doctor diagnosed acute constipation brought on by two weeks of my mother's cooking, her doctor on arrival prescribed fish balls and prunes. I have never seen fish balls in Tescos but you can get dried fruit. Vast quantities of oil are only recomnended if you're trying to induce labour and aren't really recommended then either.

[katlinel.livejournal.com]

Yes, that is definitely cheating, probably because that's an instant win and the rest of us would just have to get our coats.

Boo to digestive problems! You could try eating foods with soluble fibre, such as oats (porridge or flapjacks or other oaty biscuits, as your preference takes you) to encourage pooing.