(no subject)

[slemslempike]

I have been reading Mumset a lot, because the posters there are often very very funny. Anyway, they use the term fanjo a lot, and I was wondering what terms people use for genitalia.


[Poll #2013124]

I have eschewed eg "one eyed trouser snake" and other such euphemistically jokey terms, but then I put in Ralph because it amused me. But generally I'm looking for what people would actually say in a straightforward conversation about genitals, although that might well be such terms.

I was going to make it private, but I thought people might enjoy reading other people's thoughts on names and arguing about it.

I think I feel that terms for penis are much more versatile than those for vagina/vulva. In a sexual context I can really only accept cunt unless we get into euphemisms and just saying "there". I find pussy a pretty large turn-off. And then although I would usually refer to my cunt as just that in a general conversation, I would not want to use it of someone else's genitals unless they used it first. Whereas I think both dick and cock can be both everyday and sexual for me without any problem. Though perhaps it is because I possess the one and not the other - would I have much firmer ideas about penis nomenclature if I had one of my very own?

Also from mumsnet, after one poster denied removing hair from "down there" she likened it to "David Bellamy shouting wow", which I enjoyed very much but have been tragically not around anyone of the right nationality and generation to share it with.

Comments

[slemslempike.livejournal.com]

I'm wondering if I should move more into fanny territory for everyday conversation, but there's so much scope for confusion with Americans.

Also it occurs to me that I've sculpted this as though I were talking exclusively to adult peers, and not eg children, my family (to whom I do not think I have ever mentioned a genital).

[slemslempike.livejournal.com]

And any excuse to post this:

http://msmagazine.com/blog/2012/04/01/national-poetry-month-vagina-sonnet-and-other-poems-that-drove-feminism/

‘Vagina’ Sonnet - Joan Larkin

Is “vagina” suitable for use
in a sonnet? I don’t suppose so.
A famous poet told me, “Vagina’s ugly.”
Meaning, of course, the sound of it. In poems.
Meanwhile, he inserts his penis frequently
into his verse, calling it, seriously, “My
Penis.” It is short, I know, and dignified.
I mean of course the sound of it. In poems.
This whole thing is unfortunate, but petty,
like my hangup concerning English Dept. memos
headed “Mr./Mrs./Miss”–only a fishbone
in the throat of the revolution–
a waste of brains–to be concerned about
this minor issue of my cunt’s good name.

[medland.livejournal.com]

My female friends and I tend to use 'lady garden'. When I'm with my gay male friends they use minge or flange.

[katlinel.livejournal.com]

I've noticed "lady bits" being more popular recently among my friends for everyday conversation.

[medland.livejournal.com]

My least favourites that I've come across but never actually heard used - hairy axe wound, beef curtains, hot beef injection (that's more for actually having a dick in you rather than the stand alone item itself).

[medland.livejournal.com]

I find the phrase lady garden both pleasant and hilarious, couldn't really say why.

[medland.livejournal.com]

Oh, one of them referred to it as 'a fetid gash' during a massive comedy rant about why he preferred cock.

[slemslempike.livejournal.com]

I nearly had lady garden in, but took it out at the last minute. I'd completely forgotten about minge - that's another one I dislike. I think it sounds mean-spirited. Basically I think I disliked anything that the boys used to talk about vaginas when I was a teenager as it was always meant to make you feel uncomfortable.

[slemslempike.livejournal.com]

EW. I really hate it when protestations about heteronormativity turn into such misogyny.

[slemslempike.livejournal.com]

That's true, lady bits as opposed to bits.

[katlinel.livejournal.com]

Hit submit too soon - I meant to have added "cock" and "cunt" to the second "preferred terms" as my answer currently is a bit Enid Blyton.

I like "muff" as a term, too, (but not "muff-diving") although I'm not sure I've ever said it out loud as a word for genitalia.

I really, really hate the abbreviation "vadge". It sets my teeth on edge the way I think "moist" is supposed to for some people.

IIRC, Fanny by Erica Jong has a couple of lengthy lists of terms for genitalia.

[katlinel.livejournal.com]

Pleasant and hilarious is just the right description of "lady garden".

[medland.livejournal.com]

He is one of those gay men who, I suspect, is rampantly homophobic as well as pretty misogynistic. And scared of sex. Good times.

[medland.livejournal.com]

My preferred slang for lesbian sex is either clam jousting or rug munching.

[hfnuala.livejournal.com]

I always thought minge was pubic hair, not vulva - dunno why, just feeling more like a hair related word to me.

As someone who semi regularly needs to discuss genitals with children, I had to learn not to say penis to other people's children and now say willy as that seem to be the safe term of choice around here.

A came back from sex ed telling me I was wrong when I taught her to say vulva and it should be vagina, which led to a small rantette from me about the difference.

[hfnuala.livejournal.com]

Completely willing to discuss terms used every day, completely unwilling to even consider discussing what I say during sex. So I didn't fill in the poll.

Weird, boundaries I never knew I had.

[huskyteer.livejournal.com]

I can't hear 'front bottom' without hearing Neil Morrissey say it in Men Behaving Badly, which is usually enough to make me snigger.

[katlinel.livejournal.com]

I wholly support your rantette re vulva and vagina.

[katlinel.livejournal.com]

Interesting! I had a similar initial reaction, and then responded to the question as a conditional, that is, I might use these words in that context; I am not saying that I do.

[oursin.livejournal.com]

You missed that ghastly 'va-jay-jay', which appears to be the term of preference for the kind of person who has it vajazzled.

[yiskah.livejournal.com]

Ooh yes, I was coming here to comment that I hate anything that references food / meat. But yeah, also anything that compares a vagina to an injury (axe wound, slash, gash) or anything that references fish (fish taco) - ALSO TERRIBLE. But I don't think I've ever encountered them in the wild (or not since early adolescence).

I'm starting to quite like 'snatch'.

[yiskah.livejournal.com]

Oh yeah, I also like muff! Though not in a sexual context, I don't think.

[yiskah.livejournal.com]

THIS IS THE BEST POLL. Thank you!

[yiskah.livejournal.com]

Also, 'peen' will always bring back the Beach of Peen to me.

[katlinel.livejournal.com]

Procrastinating as I'm having a major case of "I don't want to" today, so sorry for being ubiquitous on this post, but I was also thinking about "vajayjay", which I find very silly but also like, but I think that is purely because I enjoy Eliot's character on Scrubs and the actor's, Sarah Chalke's, delivery of it when she uses the word. I don't think I'd use it myself.