(no subject)

[slemslempike]

I have been reading Mumset a lot, because the posters there are often very very funny. Anyway, they use the term fanjo a lot, and I was wondering what terms people use for genitalia.


[Poll #2013124]

I have eschewed eg "one eyed trouser snake" and other such euphemistically jokey terms, but then I put in Ralph because it amused me. But generally I'm looking for what people would actually say in a straightforward conversation about genitals, although that might well be such terms.

I was going to make it private, but I thought people might enjoy reading other people's thoughts on names and arguing about it.

I think I feel that terms for penis are much more versatile than those for vagina/vulva. In a sexual context I can really only accept cunt unless we get into euphemisms and just saying "there". I find pussy a pretty large turn-off. And then although I would usually refer to my cunt as just that in a general conversation, I would not want to use it of someone else's genitals unless they used it first. Whereas I think both dick and cock can be both everyday and sexual for me without any problem. Though perhaps it is because I possess the one and not the other - would I have much firmer ideas about penis nomenclature if I had one of my very own?

Also from mumsnet, after one poster denied removing hair from "down there" she likened it to "David Bellamy shouting wow", which I enjoyed very much but have been tragically not around anyone of the right nationality and generation to share it with.

Comments

[slemslempike.livejournal.com]

I'm wondering if I should move more into fanny territory for everyday conversation, but there's so much scope for confusion with Americans.

Also it occurs to me that I've sculpted this as though I were talking exclusively to adult peers, and not eg children, my family (to whom I do not think I have ever mentioned a genital).

[slemslempike.livejournal.com]

And any excuse to post this:

http://msmagazine.com/blog/2012/04/01/national-poetry-month-vagina-sonnet-and-other-poems-that-drove-feminism/

‘Vagina’ Sonnet - Joan Larkin

Is “vagina” suitable for use
in a sonnet? I don’t suppose so.
A famous poet told me, “Vagina’s ugly.”
Meaning, of course, the sound of it. In poems.
Meanwhile, he inserts his penis frequently
into his verse, calling it, seriously, “My
Penis.” It is short, I know, and dignified.
I mean of course the sound of it. In poems.
This whole thing is unfortunate, but petty,
like my hangup concerning English Dept. memos
headed “Mr./Mrs./Miss”–only a fishbone
in the throat of the revolution–
a waste of brains–to be concerned about
this minor issue of my cunt’s good name.

[medland.livejournal.com]

My female friends and I tend to use 'lady garden'. When I'm with my gay male friends they use minge or flange.

[katlinel.livejournal.com]

I've noticed "lady bits" being more popular recently among my friends for everyday conversation.

[medland.livejournal.com]

My least favourites that I've come across but never actually heard used - hairy axe wound, beef curtains, hot beef injection (that's more for actually having a dick in you rather than the stand alone item itself).

[medland.livejournal.com]

Oh, one of them referred to it as 'a fetid gash' during a massive comedy rant about why he preferred cock.

[slemslempike.livejournal.com]

I nearly had lady garden in, but took it out at the last minute. I'd completely forgotten about minge - that's another one I dislike. I think it sounds mean-spirited. Basically I think I disliked anything that the boys used to talk about vaginas when I was a teenager as it was always meant to make you feel uncomfortable.

[katlinel.livejournal.com]

Hit submit too soon - I meant to have added "cock" and "cunt" to the second "preferred terms" as my answer currently is a bit Enid Blyton.

I like "muff" as a term, too, (but not "muff-diving") although I'm not sure I've ever said it out loud as a word for genitalia.

I really, really hate the abbreviation "vadge". It sets my teeth on edge the way I think "moist" is supposed to for some people.

IIRC, Fanny by Erica Jong has a couple of lengthy lists of terms for genitalia.

[medland.livejournal.com]

My preferred slang for lesbian sex is either clam jousting or rug munching.

[yiskah.livejournal.com]

Oh yeah, I also like muff! Though not in a sexual context, I don't think.

[hfnuala.livejournal.com]

Completely willing to discuss terms used every day, completely unwilling to even consider discussing what I say during sex. So I didn't fill in the poll.

Weird, boundaries I never knew I had.

[katlinel.livejournal.com]

Interesting! I had a similar initial reaction, and then responded to the question as a conditional, that is, I might use these words in that context; I am not saying that I do.

[slemslempike.livejournal.com]

I think I definitely would have had that boundary if I had a regular partner or partners, and doubly so if my partner was known to others. However, since my own use is largely hypothetical, it didn't feel so intimate to me.

[huskyteer.livejournal.com]

I can't hear 'front bottom' without hearing Neil Morrissey say it in Men Behaving Badly, which is usually enough to make me snigger.

[slemslempike.livejournal.com]

Front bottom does have a tinge of frantic embarrasment to it.

[oursin.livejournal.com]

You missed that ghastly 'va-jay-jay', which appears to be the term of preference for the kind of person who has it vajazzled.

Vajazzling

[spiralsheep.livejournal.com]

I also cringe at va-jay-jay.

About the time vajazzling first hit the news I was sitting in a pub, wholly surrounded by middle-aged men, when one of them mentioned that he'd received an email, at the club where he works, informing him that they were holding a vajazzling event. He'd never heard of vajazzling, and is of a generation who don't turn to google as their first resort for information, so he walked out of his private office into the general office and asked, "What's vajazzling?" Whereupon the three young ladies he works with fell about laughing. As did I in the pub. Then another man told us, "I first came across vajazzle in a game of Scrabble. I said, 'That's not a word!' ..." At this point they all looked at me, clearly expecting some sort of comment, so I added, "That's a good score in Scrabble: one jay, two zeds, and a vee." (Although I don't think that was the anecdote they were hoping for....) Then a third man, still mystified, asked, "But what is vajazzling?" And I got to sit there lolzing while the guys tried to explain in a slightly oblique way without using any words they might find embarrassing, bwahahahaha! My only regret is that I failed to mention pedazzling, then sit back and lolz some more at their reactions.

[yiskah.livejournal.com]

THIS IS THE BEST POLL. Thank you!

[yiskah.livejournal.com]

Also, 'peen' will always bring back the Beach of Peen to me.

[katlinel.livejournal.com]

Procrastinating as I'm having a major case of "I don't want to" today, so sorry for being ubiquitous on this post, but I was also thinking about "vajayjay", which I find very silly but also like, but I think that is purely because I enjoy Eliot's character on Scrubs and the actor's, Sarah Chalke's, delivery of it when she uses the word. I don't think I'd use it myself.

[slemslempike.livejournal.com]

Most unfairly of me, I like words like vajayjay and fanjo when people are using them because they enjoy it, and not when people are using them because they are being cutesy and think that vagina/vulva are too rude.

[chiasmata]

Actually cackling aloud in Departures here; best poll.

[slemslempike.livejournal.com]

I am thinking of so many terms I could have included now. This is what comes of doing things in a rush.

[spiralsheep.livejournal.com]

What, no pubic hair words? Or aren't we supposed to have any? ;-)

My friend taught her small daughters to call their fanny a tuppenny so when the subject of pubic hair arose later they decided to call it a tuppenny wig, lol.

[spiralsheep.livejournal.com]

I also nominate "quim" in for vulva/vagina general, and "growling at the badger" for cunnilingus.

[glitzfrau.livejournal.com]

There is a non-jokey context for talking about cocks?! :-0

[slemslempike.livejournal.com]

Oh yes, cocks are very serious business. *important man face with important man cock* Are cocks very much a non-serious term for you?

I am enjoying reading the comments such as Jess's "I like muff" and giggling to myself.

[felinitykat]

I never use it in everyday conversation but 'foof' always makes me giggle.

[slemslempike.livejournal.com]

Foof! I am now realising that my written conversations are entirely different from my spoken conversations. I do not think that I have ever heard foof (or indeed fanjo) spoken, but written it seems very usual.

[whatho.livejournal.com]

I don't think I've ever discussed lady parts in general conversation. But apparently I call them 'lady parts'.

[slemslempike.livejournal.com]

Actually, parts just generally is something I might have included if I'd thought about it.

[starfishchick]

Never heard of or read "fanjo" in my life! (And autocorrect thought I meant "Fabio", which ...)

Lady area, lady parts... for dudes, "junk" though none of these in an active sexual context. More like, "that guy got punched in the junk" or "that asshole on the subway was trying to press his junk on me but I hit him with my briefcase and he backed off".

[slemslempike.livejournal.com]

I think Fabio would be an excellent substitute, in any context. "Darling, please stroke my Fabio". "Doctor, there's a strange pain in my Fabio".

Junk I never think of, but I do read it a lot online. I've never heard anyone actually say it, anyway.

[darkoshi]

For female parts I use specific words like vagina, labia, clitoris/clit. For male parts, I use penis, dick, balls. I don't generally use different words for sexual vs non-sexual contexts. But I'm asexual, so the occasion/inclination to use words in a sexual context doesn't happen much.

I referenced my "labia" when speaking to someone at my ObGyn clinic, and I had to repeat the word 3 times until they understood what I was saying. I was pronouncing it right, so that gives me the impression that they aren't used to people using that word.

In non-sexual conversation, I might say "down there". (I'm tempted to say "down under", but then I think of Australia and refrain from doing so). I think using "bits" would be fine too, but it seems easy to misunderstand in general conversation. If I didn't want to euphemize, I'd just say "genitals" or the specific part I'm talking about as indicated above.

I can't imagine myself saying "vajayjay", but it makes me smile when I hear other people say it. I like the humorous/affectionate/pet-name quality of it.

Vadge, cunt and pussy seem off-putting to me.

[slemslempike.livejournal.com]

I had a mild tizzy once because someone said I'd been pronouncing labia wrong. They said it to rhyme with flabbier, which I can never see as right.

[antisoppist.livejournal.com]

There is a brilliant polite Swedish word which is "underliv". Former business partner, who is gay, had to translate it in a packaging text for sanitary towels while I was on maternity leave (otherwise I would have done it as really not his area) and said it always made him think of "undercarriage".

[slemslempike.livejournal.com]

Underliv/undercarriage! Is it unisex?