Some internet haps and mishaps

[slemslempike]

1) "Large, comfortable room available from the beginning of February 2016 in my warm quiet house in Maldon Road, just off Dyke Road."

In the future I plan to describe my identity as "just off Dyke Road". Which in true British direction fashion, could mean the next house along, or miles down a muddy track. I shall not be forced to further clarify.

2) "Booking a course with Andark couldn't be more straight forward, there are three simple steps to follow:

Phone us to check the availibility of the course that you have chosen, and the dates you wish to attend.
Download and complete the booking form, and return to us by post.
Download and complete the medical declaration form, and return to us by post."

This was from their WEBSITE, so they cannot be unfamiliar with the idea of the internet. Though it is of course challenging to think of a more straightforward process than this, which uses internet (to check for dates), phone AND post. So thorough!

3) I was looking at an underwater video with my 4 year old nephew, who likes fish very much. He wanted to see some dolphins, and so we went to google images where I foolishly let him click on what he wanted to see and that's how we ended up on a page entitled "great white sharks attack humans". He was particularly interested in the one with a pool of blood upon the sea. Oops. My sister recounted two other cautionary tales about googling in front of children, both from other teachers. The first is her friend in her 60s who is sweet and an avid birdwatcher, and wanted to show the children what tits looked like. The other is a younger person with bad spelling, who when trying to explain Hannukah to a class googled for "minora", and unsurprisingly got a faceful of labia.

Comments

[mockduck.livejournal.com]

Dyke Road is a major thoroughfare in Brighton and I think we're *mostly* inured to it.

My top tip for kids and Google is to ensure safe search is on before typing in "big toys". Ask me how I learned this.

[huskyteer.livejournal.com]

And be careful in the office if you're googling 'big purple one' for images of Quality Street, as my designer colleague discovered.

[mockduck.livejournal.com]

:/

[slemslempike.livejournal.com]

Golly.

[slemslempike.livejournal.com]

I am not yet inured to Greendykes. Or indeed Dumbiedykes.

Oof, that sounds very... educational.

[katlinel.livejournal.com]

Doing an Internet search (pre-Google) for "kitten" taught me about the merits of safe search in 1996.

There are times when I'd much rather download a form and post it, since then I can see everything that needs to be on the form in advance of filling it in, unlike many Internet forms. The phoning is a bit much.

I approve of your new description for your identity.

[slemslempike.livejournal.com]

That wouldn't even occur to me!

I can see the merits of downloading a form for complex things, though I'd still rather be able to EMAIL it to them.

[girlofprey.livejournal.com]

Oh, flashbacks to the time I showed my five year old nephew a clip of crocodiles, and accidentally let him watch an antelope being ripped apart. Censorship is hard.

[motodraconis.livejournal.com]

Just off Dyke Road is a perfect turn of the tongue. Mind you I've been all the way to 69 Crotch Crescent.*

* To visit Motorcycle-Repair-Man, ok, I'll stop now before if starts sounding even more suss.

[khalinche.livejournal.com]

St Andrews has a Double Dykes Road, and one of the houses along it has (or had, circa 1998) a charming ceramic number plate saying "2 Double Dykes". A number of women of my acquaintance talked about stealing it to decorate their own house with.

[majea.livejournal.com]

I lived on Dyke Road in Brighton. I'm not sure it had any longterm effects on my identity, though.