(no subject)

[slemslempike]

I thought I would try something different with my gym class vouchers so I went to a Zumba class. Or rather, I went to probably less than 10 minutes of a Zumba class. To start with, we started about 15-20 minutes late because the instructor had a problem with something at the start of the previous class. To end with, it was shit and I hated it. I should probably have looked up something about Zumba classes before I went - I didn't realise that there were no instructions, just vague pointing from the person leading it. So the instructor launched straight into something, and then I had no idea what was going on. Having now googled "first zumba class" (and "i hate zumba", for which most of the hits are people saying why you're WRONG to hate Zumba, and how they used to but now it's AMAZE) it seems this is normal. I don't know if it's also normal that I had to beg her to tell me what her stupid hand signals meant, and that she only explained after the first song. To be fair, I think I'd have hated it anyway, as I don't like dancing in the first place, the music was awful, I get grumpy very easily, and since half the time I was just trying to work out what was going on, it didn't even feel like any exercise was happening. And I was cross and resentful, and wanted to leave, and then I realised that I COULD. Quitting is the best, I commend it highly to all of you.

On Sunday I went to barre concept (another voucher, I love vouchers). This was also something I'd never done before with difficult things and terms (attrape, battements, tendus, which I know from Ballet Shoes but little else) but with an instructor who bothered to find out who was new, and told us where to stand to get the best view of what was going on, and smiled at me whenever I gave up and just lay down on the mat. Though I didn't do that as much as I'd expected! It's basically pretending to be a ballerina. Though one doing training, rather than one with a pretty tutu on stage. The blurb about it says it's a celebrity craze that Mick Jagger does. I suspect that by the time anything ends up at the voucher stage it's well past being "in", but since Mick and I have had a connection ever since people I was with saw him at lsugaralmond's wedding, I thought I'd give it a whirl. I liked it a lot. The first part is warm up with kicks and arms and balancing, and then you move onto use the barre. You get to do pretty arms and match them with legs, but sometimes it goes a bit wrong because you have to change positions quickly and you find yourself giving your ankle a Nazi salute. I kept up reasonably well, though when we were resting our legs on the barre I used a screw halfway down the post instead. When we moved to the warm-down on the mats I did okayish at the start, but when we were told "you can go into your split if you want", I sat down and idly stretched one leg out at a time. i am quite pleased that I have more classes next to go to. Maybe I will have Mick Jagger's body in no time!

Comments

[peeeeeeet.livejournal.com]

Zooooomba is in the same part of my brain as ear candles, zorbing and that thing were fish eat the gross bits of your toes. This is because of my former housemate Shaz who was a slave to fads and talked at LENGTH about these things. Subsequent research suggested that ear candles and zorbing are both highly dangerous, and that ear candles and the fish thing do not actually work. It seems LOGICAL then, that Zooooooomba is either highly dangerous, useless or both. I intend to do no further research.

[slemslempike.livejournal.com]

I have actually done zorbing and fish pedicure! Fish eating your feet is nice and feels funny, and zorbing is great fun. I have not ear candled.

USELESS is definitely what Zoooooomba is.

[widgetfox.livejournal.com]

I walked out of a Zumba class after 20m. I've never regretted it.

[slemslempike.livejournal.com]

HIGH FIVE OF SOLIDARITY. I might cite it as my greatest decision in future interviews. You'd take that as a sign of good leadership, right?

[widgetfox.livejournal.com]

Well, OBVS.

[cellardor.livejournal.com]

My mum made me do Zumba with her a few years ago. Also hated it. I have no coordination so it was never going to go well.

Have been considering trying out barre as it's a bit of a craze here. But was a bit intimidated. See above re coordination. It is supposed to be an excellent workout though. And I do need to exercise now roller derby is over...

[slemslempike.livejournal.com]

I liked barre a lot. I was easily the largest and the least flexible in the class, but the teacher was very nice and told everyone not to overdo themselves. It was much more high energy than I was expecting too.

[debodacious.livejournal.com]

I suspect the barre won't hit Kelso till 2021 so I am jealous. I am not a Zumba fan either but I gave it 3 sessions before giving up for good.

[slemslempike.livejournal.com]

Maybe your local gyms/pilates places would put on classes if they knew there was demand? Surely lots of adults want to do it if only they knew it was possible. I bet these chaps would be delighted.

[debodacious.livejournal.com]

Although nothing is as bad as the line dancing my mum forced me to try in 199 something.

[slemslempike.livejournal.com]

I have to admit I think I would quite like to try line dancing. Don't they at least tell you what's going on?

[debodacious.livejournal.com]

Not that I recall. Although I found it so horrendous that I expunged it from my memory ASAP. My mum loved it though.

[medland.livejournal.com]

I did step aerobics in the 90s and was similarly traumatised.

[slemslempike.livejournal.com]

I did a step aerobics for teens class once and quite liked that too. I think it is that I am quite happy following instructions no matter how dull because I can switch off, but copying someone is hard. However, I am not going to do ANY of it again. Pilates and Barre only going forward, although I just found a Cheer Fit class in Waterloo that I might try.

[medland.livejournal.com]

My main problem with any of those is that I can't tell my right from my left, I can't understand that things happening in mirrors are happening backwards. So trying to look at myself doing something forwards and someone else doing it facing me backwards and there is a mirror? I'm doomed before I even get the lycra on.
Zumba seems to be cult like, everyone I know who does it turns into some kind of IT HAS CHANGED MY LIIIIIIIIIIIIIFE person.

[nanila]

Quitting is awesome. Most recently, I realised I could quit having driving lessons with a really crap instructor. It was so liberating, not having to practise driving with someone who brought out the absolute worst in me.