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Nov. 20th, 2015 05:06 pmI'd seen the story about a man demanding £5 back from a woman after she declined to go on a further date with him on Buzzfeed around, and then happened across this post (here) showing that he's done it to several women. This includes a woman who, when she sensibly ignored his requests to be paid back for a drink he freely offered and bought, had to involve the police after he tracked down her personal information and threatened to come to her workplace. He is clearly at the very least a wanker of the first order, but that's also stalking behaviour. However, the blogpost from one of the women invovled includes the sentence:
Now I want to make it clear that I’m not suggesting that this man has done, or will do anything illegal or dangerous, there’s still the chance he’s just this bloke who’s a bit over sensitive and we were unlucky enough to catch him on bad days.
FUCKING NO. Why the hell do we have to pander to MRAs and other fuckwits who are desperate for us to see every incidence of misogynist bullshit as a one-off. I can appreciate that the author of the piece is the one who experienced it, and I don't want to undermine her right to interpret her experiences (and also appreciate that she may wish to forestall abuse by aforementioned fuckwits), but when you have literally just described a pattern of behaviour involving pressuring women to come back to a private location against their wishes, badgering them for sex, acting as if buying a drink etc is a downpayment on sex when no agreement for transaction has taken place, and THREATENING TO SHOW UP AT SOMEONE'S WORK, saying maybe it was just that they were "unlucky enough to catch him on bad days" is a juxtaposition of mind-bending disconnect. Christ.
More amusingly about weird attitudes to sex, I saw a tweet relating to the Bad Sex Awards, asking plaintively if no-one just takes their knickers off to have sex any more. There was going to be a poll here but I couldn't get the questions informative yet not too intrusive... so instead I shall just say I have never had this happen, and also I think that I must be wearing entirely the wrong knickers for it, as I can't see it being anything other than uncomfortably constricting. On that note, I do not think I have unusually wide labia (a friend once described them as looking neat like a bookshelf, in fact), but I do sometimes find it difficult to find underwear that doesn't require me to choose which labium to cover.
I keep finding myself crying these past few days. I hope it will pass.
Now I want to make it clear that I’m not suggesting that this man has done, or will do anything illegal or dangerous, there’s still the chance he’s just this bloke who’s a bit over sensitive and we were unlucky enough to catch him on bad days.
FUCKING NO. Why the hell do we have to pander to MRAs and other fuckwits who are desperate for us to see every incidence of misogynist bullshit as a one-off. I can appreciate that the author of the piece is the one who experienced it, and I don't want to undermine her right to interpret her experiences (and also appreciate that she may wish to forestall abuse by aforementioned fuckwits), but when you have literally just described a pattern of behaviour involving pressuring women to come back to a private location against their wishes, badgering them for sex, acting as if buying a drink etc is a downpayment on sex when no agreement for transaction has taken place, and THREATENING TO SHOW UP AT SOMEONE'S WORK, saying maybe it was just that they were "unlucky enough to catch him on bad days" is a juxtaposition of mind-bending disconnect. Christ.
More amusingly about weird attitudes to sex, I saw a tweet relating to the Bad Sex Awards, asking plaintively if no-one just takes their knickers off to have sex any more. There was going to be a poll here but I couldn't get the questions informative yet not too intrusive... so instead I shall just say I have never had this happen, and also I think that I must be wearing entirely the wrong knickers for it, as I can't see it being anything other than uncomfortably constricting. On that note, I do not think I have unusually wide labia (a friend once described them as looking neat like a bookshelf, in fact), but I do sometimes find it difficult to find underwear that doesn't require me to choose which labium to cover.
I keep finding myself crying these past few days. I hope it will pass.
