often seen in the street without a hat

Fnah. I've mislaid my mooncup instructions (another reason that I need to tidy my room this weekend), so in case anyone else is in the same boat, here is what I did.

1) Boil mooncup in pan of water

2) Approach toilet with trepidation

3) Insert mooncup

4) Stand up. Instantly realise that the mooncup is far too low, and the slight stabbing pain is probably not part of the intended experience.

5) Sit back down. Remove mooncup by playing tug of war until vagina gives up.

6) DROP MOONCUP INTO TOILET

7) Kneel down, retrieve mooncup from THE OTHER SIDE OF THE U-BEND

8) Try not to be sick at sight of accumulated toilet gunk stuck to moon-cup

9) Debate throwing mooncup away, renouncing feminism and possibly own body.

10) Clean mooncup. Boil mooncup.

11) Decide to put off all further attempts until find some kind of sterilising tablet.

I was about to write an entry about the event today, but then I dropped my laptop on my nose, which hurts. It is also cut, so tomorrow I will have a scar that I am somehow going to have to explain to my colleagues in a way that doesn't sound too depressingly ridiculous.

I once stabbed myself in the forehead with my own thumbnail while attempting to put on a t-shirt.